When I found out that I would have to make a blog this year, I was excited because essentially I loved writing. However with that notion, I also had no clue what I would even write about. I had no idea for even a theme. I played around with the ideas of reading, writing, and music. Mostly these stuck out to me because these were some of the only things that I enjoyed. Though these were great ideas for me, they weren’t the best because I had no clue what to even write about with them. On the same day I found out that I had to create a blog, my best friend died. She saw how excited I was and she even helped me brainstorm ideas.
A few weeks after she had been gone, I knew exactly what I needed to write about. I had to write about the struggle of moving on and the change I had dealt with. Truth be told, if she was still here, there would be a million things that I wouldn’t be. For starters, I wouldn’t constantly miss her because she would be just a phone call away. I would probably still be with my former boyfriend, blinded by what I thought was love. I’m not sure that I would have met the people I hang out with here or even be as close to them. But, most importantly, I wouldn’t have had to be right back to square one. I wouldn’t have to start over again.
It’s honestly crazy how many things can change from one thing. I never expected myself to be here writing these things. I’m not the carefree person I used to be who would laugh all the time. I’m fairly cautious, looking both ways all the time. I like to plan ahead and see things before they happen. I guess that’s what having to start over for what seems like the millionth time will do to you. A lot of things changed for me when she died. Now I’m not saying they changed specifically because of that reason. For example, I broke up with my boyfriend. However, losing her made me see who was really important and who was just pretending. As with each of those things listed above, something stemmed from my experience with my best friend.
I’m not going to say that I completely believe that everything happens for a reason because I don’t fully believe that. However, one thing can change the outcome of something else. And that something else can lead to the person you are supposed to be.