Senior to Freshman: Starting All Over Again

For a while now, I have been saving this post. You see, among most of the freshmen in my class I had a skewed version of college from the start. My best friend had died two weeks before I had to move in and that had already put me in a weird position to start over. So instead of this post being one of my first posts, I decided that it would have to be a later post due to my skewed reality of my first weeks here at college.

If you must know when I first got here, I thought this sucks. I don’t want to be here. But I also didn’t want to be anywhere in particular. On move-in day, I looked into the eyes of people who equally shared the same characteristics–hope, opportunity, happiness. I couldn’t help, but wonder what my eyes held. I watched this one guy run out of the second floor door of the dorm, almost knocking me down in the process, with eyes of joy. His smile told the story though. This was his time. He was ready for this moment and probably has been for a while. Nevertheless, with each box and bag I carried up to the fourth floor I saw faces of happiness and I wondered what I would be like if Stancil had not died. Would I have been extremely happy? Or, would I be exactly the same? Probably the first. I also wondered how everyone else could be so happy even though I knew they most likely weren’t affected by a death two weeks beforehand. This is my new start, I thought, shouldn’t I be happy? Shouldn’t I feel anything towards this moment? I was the outlier.

As time went on, it seemed to only get worse. I wasn’t participating in things normal college students would be. I would just go to classes and go back to the dorm. I would do homework, which is good. I would watch Netflix until I could finally fall asleep. That was essentially my life. And I essentially hated everything about college. At least in high school, I would have been able to talk to the teachers and even occasionally some of the students. Here, there was no one. At least, not yet.

Now, about three months later, I can say something different. I got involved in clubs and met some people. I stopped hanging out all the time in my dorm and started getting involved in something during the week. I can even say that I have got a couple of people here that I can hang out with and talk to. Now I have a different view on college in itself. Yes, it is very stressful at times with the classes. But, college isn’t just about coursework. I mean that is a big factor, but it’s also about forming relationships and being a part of something.

That is essentially the reason that I believe college is much better than high school. I enjoy the encouragement of clubs on campus and they are always doing things on campus. Every night is basically a different thing. We are encouraged to create relationships with people on campus. That’s really cool because in high school there isn’t much of that. There are clubs you can join and people you can befriend, but academics is the main focus. In college, there is sort of a medium between academics and club involvement. They encourage both heavily here.

More changes that I have noticed is that, you don’t really talk to the people you once did. Like once high school is over, those relationships are basically over. The only one that really stuck with me was Stancil, but that ended in a different way. This can be different for some people; however, I have talked to some people who still talk to their high school friends.

So here is my open, honest truth about my transition from high school to college. It won’t be skewed from past endeavors, taken with an open mind from just a regular college student. College is pretty great. It’s stressful at times, but not all the time. I have met some great people from varying states and even some from out of the country. So go out. Participate in things. Enjoy. Because this just may be the some of the best times in your life.

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