Now this isn’t about a time where I found some genuine change in myself. Or about a time that holds any kind of significance in my life now. But this is about a time that, I guess you could say, changed my way of thinking to some degree.
On a hot, summer day in the beginning of July, I said a temporary goodbye to the boy that I loved. I stood right there on the sidewalk and watched my boyfriend walk into the building where he would wait to be taken to basic training. Now for some people, this may not seem like a big deal. For some, it may. All I know is, at that moment in time, it was a huge deal to me. He would be gone for eight weeks with no communication. That was the only thing that went through my head.
At first, I’ll go ahead and tell you, it wasn’t easy. It was anything but easy. I had grown so used to him just being around. I was used to texting him into the early hours of the morning. I was used to calling him when I needed to speak to him. I was used to him being just a 15 minute drive away. Then, just like that, a drop of conversation. I was just thrown into a depth of eery silence and I had no clue what to do with it all.
The thought of not being able to talk to a person you want to talk to anytime you want is essentially terrifying. I would know. I’ve been through it twice now. I had so many fears and I only ever voiced a few of them. I had a great person to help me through this time though and I’ll never forget that. My best friend constantly sent texts just subtly checking up on me. She would even stop by and just hang out with me. There were even nights where I couldn’t sleep and she stayed up with me until I finally could. Just as they say–It’s the small things that count.
As time went on, however, it got easier. The letters started coming and that became our form of communication. Then he got random phone calls and for some reason I was the one that got them. I still missed him, but it was easier to deal with not having him around.
Though it did not necessarily work out between the two of us, I am here to tell you that it can be done. I’ve seen many good relationships come out of this. Yes, they leave, but it’s only temporary. It took me a while to figure that out. This lifestyle; however, was just not for me. Or maybe it was the boy. I’ll never really know. This whole thing now seems crazy thinking back on it, but it was a part of my life. As the significance of this moment wears away day by day now that we aren’t together, I begin to think of what significance it still has. It wasn’t so much the moment anymore, but what stemmed from it. It was the power of choice and whether or not I was supposed to be where I was at that particular moment.